Monday, April 6, 2009

Pretty hilarious in that not-so-funny kinda way

So today we had a pep rally at school for our big testing that will happen over the next couple of days. It was fun (even if the wind was whippin' AND we were facing the wrong way sitting uphill-not easy.) Highlights include moms with pompoms, a friend dressed as a 5'2 koala bear (and her little bear friend whom I was sure was gonna bolt for it any minute,) and a rousing cheer from the pre-k classes..."Do your best (clap) on the test (clap.) And please don't think I'm kidding when I say that we spent an intriguing 10 minutes figuring out how many claps to include. Better yet...that totally never happened. I'm kidding.

My favorite part of the program was our speaker, a local university president (who has the sweetest family, one of which I will forevermore claim as my own can't have her back.) During his speech he encouraged our students to do their best (clap...on the test...clap) because that is key to going to college. And if you want to be any number of things, pro sports player, doctor, lawyer, cheerleader (insert loudest applause here???,) or a teacher, then you will have to finish college.

Here's the punchline....wait for it...wait for it....

"A person who has a college education, on average, will earn ONE MILLION DOLLARS more than a person who only has a high school diploma."

I am anxiously awaiting my check.

Because according to my (terrible, four time flunking algebra) math, I will have to work 24 years to earn a million. And that's just counting MY million, not minus what I would have been making had I started a trade. And especially not if it is a million more than the boatload of money my hairdresser makes. Add all that up, and I would have to work an estimated FOREVER before that all added up just right.

And you know people don't go into education for the money. There are totally intristic rewards that I benefit from every day. Touching young lives, making a difference. Yada, yada, yada. But seriously...millions?

FYI...When I asked about my pending fortune, I was informed that according to data, the average for someone with a master's degree (which I will hold come December) is 1.6 million. I am already spending it.

As a consolation, I get to have the summer off (weeeelllll, kinda, after all of those workshops and prep for the next year,) and there is that little thing called spring break. Plus, all of those handy shopping days at Thanksgiving and Christmas-you know the ones where I spend my fortune.

BTW...Our fabulous teachers have worked tirelessly prepping the kids for the big tests. They have trained the kids on how to be their best that morning....lots of sleep, big breakfast, etc. Parker told me this morning that he needs a breakfast with real food. Not a honeybun or Little Debbie. He wants bacon. I swear, sometimes you wonder where they get all of these extravagent ideas.

Cooking. In the morning. What's next, brushing teeth?


Amber said...

When you find the hidden pot of education gold....let me know. If you think too hard about'd cry.

And I'm supposed to cook eggs in the morning. Huh? Do they make egg flavored poptarts?

Jennifer said...

We were told the same thing the first day of college and we were also told people would be knocking down our doors to hire us.....I'm still waiting!
I asked Shelby how the pep rally went and she said, "They told us to go to college so we could make lots of money!"