Perpetual Preschool

Huh?!?

2011-02-08T17:00:00.002-06:00

This morning was like any other morning. The birds were singing. My three meticulously groomed children were waltzing through the house bantering over who loved the other the most. Shoes were tied, lunches were packed, and we were sitting down to a well-rounded breakfast.

Then I woke up.

It was a morning of the usual bustle. Crying, fighting, gnashing of teeth. And the kids were not any better. I was trying to remember to not burn the toast while packing lunches and shouting orders, sniffing breathes and armpits. The kids were up to their routine of mass-silliness. I don't understand it, but every morning from 6-6:50 my kids decide they can't be without each other, and spend countless amounts of precious minutes rolling on the floor like puppies. I digress.

This morning Parker was talking NONSTOP about important topics which I do not remember because I had my auto-pilot "uh-huhs" and "ya thinks." Suddenly the conversation shifts from Patrick (of Spongebob fame) not having a nose to this:

Parker: "Mom, I think I am ready to be crucified."

Me: ..................... "Huh? Well, what makes you think so?"

I just want to add that I did not give an "uh-huh." It was a gold-star, checked in kinda moment.

Parker: "Well, I mean, I love Jesus, and I know he loves me and died to save me, so I guess it is time for me to be crucified."

Me: "OH!!! OH, you mean BAPTIZED!"

Parker: "Yeah, you know when you go under water."

Now, I would like to say that at that moment a thousand things were going through my mind. Like how funny he and his vocabulary are. How proud of him I am and how prayers that have been prayed since before he was born are being answered.

And how I wished I hadn't corrected him. Because can you imagine the preachers face when he went to the front of the church for invitation this Sunday to ask to be crucified?

Deepest, Darkest

2011-01-19T18:51:00.002-06:00

I am uninspired, but am gonna continue in my effort to blog daily (or at my track record: more than monthly.) Tonight I thought I would share 3 strange, weird, disturbing secrets about myself. Here goes:

1. I read the backs of books. Not like the back cover to see if it is readable. I read a few chapters, get really involved, then have to flip to the back to see who lives/loves/did it. I am not proud. It is a huge shout-out to my OCD, instant gratification needing, control freakishness. But I do it, and I like it. So far this is the only thing I do not love about my Kindle...it is extremely difficult to skim the last chapters. Still working this out.

2. I watch trash t.v. I love reality shows like Jerseylicious, Teen Mom, Downsized, and the Bachelor. I appreciate that Parker is old enough to be more interested in history and science shows than cartoons (finally) so we spend many evenings in front of Pawn Stars, Decoded, American Pickers, and Meteorite Men. I am less thankful that recently one of my besties turned me onto Hoarders. In fact I am still haunted by images of rats. Oh, the rats!

Despite my t.v. watching habits, I am a bit of a snob in that I feel better about myself because I don't watch any Housewives, Jersey Shore, or Maury. Not that I judge you for it....I just don't understand.

3. I have a super hard time paying full price for anything (groceries not included.) I am a bargain shopper, and feel like anything I purchase has to be at a significant discount. Because of this I often start shopping for Christmas in January, even though I never finish until December 23rd. I am our family designated hotel booker because I scour for the best deals. Don't even get me started about Black Friday. Let's just say there is a spreadsheet and tote bag full of carefully arranged ads. It's kinda my superbowl.

We all have our quirks. As I read over mine, they don't seem that strange. Because they are mine. What are yours?

Back in My College Days...

2011-01-18T19:33:00.002-06:00

I was broke. I lived in a teeny tiny apartment on campus with three other girls, and we were all college poor. My workstudy position paid $230 per month, my part of the rent was $190. And we had a little luxury called electricity. My car was paid for, but gas for the Geo wasn't free. And this was all before we had to buy groceries.

But we were resourceful. My suite-mate and I lived on cereal and ramen. Some months we could even indulge in milk for our Captain Crunch. We figured out how to make a dollar jar of spaghetti sauce last a week. We would each buy a jar (she liked alfredo and I am a marinara girl,) and we would cook a fistful of noodles a day to eat with a few spoonfuls of sauce. This was living. I could go on for hours about our college savings plan....Split orders of fries from the truckstop for dinner, stolen toilet paper from the Garrison (gasp!), and a great friend who fed us weekly from the restraunt he managed. Cooked dinners every now and again were the trade. Because, cooked noodles and sauce is very marketable.

After college ( I call these the student loan reality years,) I was STILL poor. My roommate and I had moved up in the world, and thought we were living large because our ramen upgraded to hamburger helper. That's right. Meat. We were ballin'.

We ate the helper so often, and about 2 years out I swore it off. Done.

Fastforward 10 years. My culinary skills have grown in leaps and bounds. I even manage to cook real meals for my family once or twice a week. Meats, vegetables, soups...real food made from real ingredients.

This is my big setup for what transpired last night...

Brad: "Do you know how to cook Hamburger Helper?"

Me: "Um...yes? But I don't really know if that counts as cooking..."

Brad: "I love Hamburger Helper! Why don't we ever have it?"

Me: "Because I really cook. Like, food. Why would you want that?"

Brad: "Let's have Hamburger Helper tomorrow night! The cheesy kind with........."

I tuned out. I don't get it. I have learned to speak his languages. There is hunting, fishing, the basketball and football talk, random bits of redneckedness that he has amassed. But this was my limit.

I don't think I can speak ground beef soaked in processed cheese powder.

Guess what was for dinner tonight? Guess who decided to just eat bread and salad.

3827

2010-10-19T16:36:00.004-05:00

3287...not the number of diapers I changed. I don't know that number for certain, but I would put it at closer to the millions. Diapers in the middle of the night, diapers that I had to rob your penny bank to buy, diapers that were fetched from Walmart with you wrapped in three dishtowels while I prayed that you didn't pee on me, diapers in public restrooms. Diapers that exploded, diapers that made me want to explode. Diapers, there were aplenty.

3287...not the number of tears I've cried. There have been dry spells. There have been floods and monsoons. Times of tears wane like phases of the moon, and I have seen plenty. Some have been mine. Tears cried over boo-boos are hard. Tears over hurt feelings and broken hearts break my momma heart. There might even be tears simmering now. And I know there will be tears in the future.

3287...not the numbers of sqeezing hugs or stolen kisses. Not the number of bedtime stories read, movies we've snuggled through, video games I have lost, or conversations had. Almost the number of times you have snuck into my room after bedtime for one last kiss or to try to sneak into my bed. Not even close to the number of smiles and giggles we have shared.

3287....not the number of days I have loved you. From the very minute I know you were to be, you rocked my world. This thing called motherhood has been a wild ride, and you were the first car on the coaster. I was clueless, but so were you. We have figured out so much together, you and me.

3287...the number of days I have worried over you, loved you, been so proud of you I could hardly stand it, been so frustrated I couldn't stand it. 3287 is how many days I have been in wonder of you, how many days that I feel so blessed and special to be your mom.

Happy 9th birthday, Parker! I love you to the moon and back (and I love that you know exactly how far that is and how long it would take us to get there!) :)

Cooties

2010-10-18T16:43:00.002-05:00

Boys have cooties. They just do. We learned this quick fact in grade school, and would have been rendered useless except for the cure. Ya know...circle, circle, dot, dot. Yeah, you know.

I love being a mom of boys and being married to their overgrown-boy-man dad. Our house is constant wrestling, tackling, climbing. And breaking. Oh, the breaking. We break furniture. We break toys. Once Kaden even broke the top of Parker's head with a baseball trophy. There is never a dull (read: quiet) moment. And really, I like it. Really. I like the soccer, and the football, and the baseball, and the dirt. Not so fond of all of the equipment and additional laundry, but as a great philosopher once said, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have..."

The fall is especially boy-y around here. The boys are all full of being outside, sports are in full swing, and there is that other little thing. What was it? Oh, yeah...hunting.

As a teacher, my new year cycles from August to August. I know there is a holiday after Christmas that tells me to start writing different numbers on the top of my checks, but really it all starts with the school supplies. The issue is that Brad runs his year beginning in October. He starts in April saying, "Ya know, it is only a few months til opening weekend." Yes, honey. But more months left than those since you last hunted. But carry on.

So from here until mid-December I am flying solo. I don't mind. Brad is a get-out-and-go kinda guy, and I loves the books in my p.j.s. But along with blissfully uneventful weekends, come the wife of deerslayer duties. Not for the faint of heart....go ahead and stop reading now. Bye.

Yesterday Brad was hunting behind the house, trying to get the pet that has been eating under our oak tree all summer long. Because, ya know, someone is going to shoot the pet, so it might as well be him. Whatev.

Dark-ish I get a call to come help load the deer. Me. So off I go with 3 kids in tow. We get back in the pasture to see this hugemongous buck that I am supposed to help hoist. hmmmm. We get to heaving and hoing, and feel this long slimy streak down my leg.

Because I am loading the head. And a dead deer sticks his bloody tongue out. And it licked me.

Don't say I didn't warn you...you were supposed to stop!

I start screaming like a girl, hands in the air, doing the deer-lick dance around the field. Parker is gagging and threatening to throw up, and Kaden is crying, afraid the deer is going to lick him. All in all, we were a hot-mess of mass chaos.

And that is something no Operation Cootie Shot can clear up.

I don't really know what I'm doing. Obviously.

2010-07-27T10:50:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged in a long while. Like forty-eleven weeks. So in effort to get my blog back on, I have pondered many meaningful posts. If you have dusted the spiderwebs off the linky to my site, then here you have it...my thoughts on the meaning of life, solutions for world peace, and predictions of the rapture. Or, you might get this...

That's right. That is virtual me. You are welcome.

I have been sitting for two days in a technology emmersion workshop, and my brain is fried. But there is this one little thing....16 hours spent on twitter, facebook, blogging, and creating avatars has equaled uninterrupted time to clear my google reader and jump feet first back in touch with my people.

Hello again, friend. I won't wait 10 months this time. Pinky swear.

One more time...just for fun. Or because I don't know how to get it to go away.

Given the choice, I'd take the seasick crocodile

2009-11-25T15:27:00.000-06:00

^Dr. Seuss, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

I have always loved the Christmas season. I remember from a very young age sitting in the floor with my mom as she pulled out our treasures. There was the little manger scene with the tiny baby Jesus. My ornament from my first Christmas, with a tiny little baby and my birthday engraved. We have a Rudolph that has to be assembled every year, and has stood guard by the tree holding a variety of treasures: bows, pinecones, and one special year a puppy. I never got tired of laying on the floor under the tree and watching the lights twinkle. That was one place where magic could be seen.

Growing up in a small-town, country church I played every part in the Nativity. From a sheep to Mary holding my favorite baby doll, and Angel and caroler, I did the part. The songs of Christmas are my favorites, and the only thing I can still play on the piano after 6 long years of lessons (sorry, Mom.) Nothing feels more spiritual to me than a Christmas Eve candle-lit service with my family in our church home. I get goosebumps thinking about it.

I moved into my own first home the year Parker was a baby. I was a Martha Stewart wannabe (pre-prison) that kept Hobby Lobby in business. I collected village scenes, made snowflake curtains for all of my windows, had linens for the beds and throw pillows for the living room. Christmas music played around the clock. There was always (at least the smell of) cookies baking and cider warming. My home was especially home-y at the Christmas season.

Traditions became especially important for us to establish for our son. A schedule for when the decorations could go up and when they had to come down. We had rules for putting the star on the tree. Routines for opening an advent each day. Readings that were planned and purposeful. And my favorite, exchanging one special ornament on Christmas Eve, a way to forever document an important time or experience of the year past. These traditions were important to me. I wanted my children to grow up and know that when they came home, it would FEEL like Christmas. I wanted something to pass on to them in their homes so that there would always be a connection between how the season felt when they were growing up, and to have their fond memories etched so deeply they would recreate them for posterity.

Since then, my home has changed. My family has changed. God has blessed us in so many ways. and in all of these changes, I lost my Christmas spirit.

I have thrown myself into chairing our county Angel Tree project for the last 3 years. Because I have been so busy bringing Christmas to other children, I told myself my kids would learn about giving. We didn't have time for all of our to-do.

And my kids are little. I mean, I have all of those extra-special ornaments, why would I put them out for the kids to break?

And because we are hunting and camping and traveling through the time when I would normally take my stuff out. And because work is busy. And because I am in school. And because I have to finish laundry. And...

So last year I took Parker and Kaden to Wal-Mart and let them buy one of those pre-lit trees and pick their own ornaments. We didn't pull out our snow globe collection or our stockings. They were happy to decorate and proud of their creation.

Today I was at my Mom's house, and she pulled out a pink tree that she had bought for Maddie's room. I was putting it into the van and jokingly asked her if I could just put it up and call my Christmas decorating done. She didn't crack a smile and Parker informed me we could not have just a pink tree. I think it was then that maximum Bah-humbug guilt set in.

I am looking. I am desperate to find that will to put those special touches back into the holidays for my kids. We have been so diligent in talking about the season as the celebration of the birth of our Savior. I just haven't shown them the magic in celebration.

So I am going to get out my tree and special ornaments. And we will hang stockings and watch the snow fall on the manger. And we will cuddle on the floor with hot chocolate and watch the lights twinkle. Because that is what we do in my family. It is what I want my kids to remember. And it is what I know I will love again as soon as we do it and I see the sparkle in their eyes.

I am looking for my twinkle. Because I want to see them sparkle.

Doing As I'm Told...

2009-11-12T19:52:00.000-06:00

So for two mornings this week my kids have gotten out of their beds with giggles in their voices, put on their clothes with much-appreciated little instruction, and beat me to the car. This is quite an accomplishment as I have been known to leave them at home for lack of all of the above.

This morning was extremely flawless. Before I realized it we had dropped Maddie off at the daycare, and were pulling up into the school parking lot. The empty school parking lot. Because we were there before the doors were unlocked.

With this extra time to kill, the boys and I headed for Sonic for 2 corndogs (a breakfast food?) and a large diet Coke with cherry. On the way we started talking about why we were afforded this priviledge on a random Thursday morning.

"Well, guys, when you do things that you are supposed to, then mornings go easier. Everyone is in a better mood, there are no tears, we get where we are supposed to be in time. And when all of those things come together, then we have time for better-than-normal treats. We get something special."

As I was I was spouting these words of wisdom, I started to think about how God must regard His children in these same ways. We know what we are to do. We are supposed to do it with kind hearts and words. But often we get in the ways of ourselves, making our paths harder and less enjoyable. And for what reason? Not because we feel better in the end. And not because the outcomes are better.

I don't understand why my kids make things harder on themselves. I don't know why they argue and hurt each other over things they really don't care about. I don't understand why I have to tell them the same things over and over again, just to be frustrated that they aren't listening or obeying. I'll never get why they would rebel intentionally to not receive a reward that is so freely given. I don't know why I haven't thought about seeing these things in me doesn't hurt and confuse my Father like it does me as a mother.

Not on the same page

2009-09-23T20:43:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was in Walmart, by myself for about 30 minutes killing time while I waited on a friend. It occured to me that Walmart and I see the world through different eyes.
For instance:

*Changing a price from 12.97 to 12.00 does not equate "Clearance."

*A sign $14-Can't be beat. Now that just isn't true. Cuz it can be beat. $13. $12. $5. Those all beat ya, $14!

*Putting milk in the back of the store does NOT necessarily mean I will walk to that back corner to buy milk picking up impulse items along the way. Because if I have my kids and they are being like my kids are, we will LEAVE with no milk and eat our Cap'n Crunch out of ziplocs on the way to school. Don't push my buttons.

*Who's idea was it to put pet items in two seperate sections? Because if I need cedar shavings for classroom guinea pig, why should I look in the dog/cat section then have to cross the store to the second for smaller pets? Does PETA recognize the discrimination there?

*I would rather have no greeter than a grumpy greeter.

*Self-checkers are great if they don't keep telling you to place item in the bagging area. Because sometimes you are buying a get well card and it is in the bagging area.

So there. Officially time to kill became too much time on my hands.

To Flu or Not to Flu...

2009-09-21T12:39:00.000-05:00

How am I gonna get to an answer if I don't understand the question?

So Maddie has had this icky fever + dry cough + achiness + vomiting. After consulting my medical degree and experience (Google) I decided that a day of sitting in the doctor's office is in order. Because Mondays are generally slow anyway.

We went to our favorite family doctor who is not in our town. We see the ones here for cuts, like trophies to the head, or shots. But when I feel some serious lab work is involved, over the river and through the woods we go.

Upon sight of Maddie walking into the office we were ushered to the back of the office. Like not a waiting room. Like my little girl had green polka dot skin with purple stripes. Because she did look that pitiful.

Of course the usual...flu test, x-rays, temp taking...yadayadayada. Then...

Doc: Okay. I want to show you something.
Me: ~hold my breath and stuttering, not easy to do at the same time.~
Doc: Here is the information and official release from the CDC and Arkansas Childrens Hospital about the H1N1 virus.
Me: ~still holding, wide-eyed~
Doc: Now, as a guideline they are not testing any children for flu this season. They are treating flu like symptoms as the flu because children under 3 are having false negatives on their flu tests. So if you went into a clinic at children's they would just say Maddie has the flu and treat her as such due to her age and the fact that she has EVERY.SINGLE.SYMPTOM.
Me: ~wanting my mommy~
Doc: So, you have a choice. You can take her results as negative that she doesn't have the flu. We can treat the symptoms as flu-like. Or, we can treat her as they would, assume she has the flu and act accordingly. It is really your decision.

Okay. I digress. My decision? That's why I come to you! I want you to tell me what to do so I can make her feel better. And I promise if it is antibiotics I will give them till they are gone. Really. I will not leave the bottle a 1/4 full in the fridge shelf until it develops into a super-medicine that could cure evil.

I asked if we could take the easy road, treating the symptoms for a few days, see if it got better, start the tamaflu if not. But NO_O. We are within that 72 critical hours for the medicine to have effect. Stupid virus with its timetable.

So I am home with my daughter and her flu/not flu virus. And we are quarantined. And there will be ice cream eating. And I might even let her have some of it.

Frugal

2009-09-17T21:01:00.000-05:00

I am thinking that I am the master of saving money. I have plotted and schemed and budgeted. I will conquer.

Because we have fully discovered the realms of "Kids eat free" meals in our little town.

It all started with the Pizza Shack. It seemed such a good idea to take the kids there for food and fun on Wednesdays. Just a little nudge from the cheese and pepperoni fairy to get us through the rest of the week. We are regulars, as in we have our tables, the waitresses know our drink orders, the cooks throw in an extra thin crust cheese at our sight, and all of our friends know where to find us. It is like "Cheers" only with marinara instead of beer.

But there is this other thing about my kids being old enough to be involved in "stuff." Like the swim team, soccer team, boy scouts kinda stuff that keeps us out several nights a week. So my fellow swim mom/pizza shack friend in crime and I decided that in order to preserve one precious (laundry/dishes/homework) night of sanity we should change Pizza Shack Wednesday (PSW) to Pizza Hut Tuesdays. We are already across town, we are out and hungry. Makes perfect sense.

Except we did go eat at Pizza Hut on Tuesday. Then there was pressure from our regular PHW posse on Wednesday and I COULD NOT LET THEM DOWN. Then there is the Thursday arrangement with Fat Boys Barbeque.

Let me sum this up for you. I washed dishes this morning and all that entailed was cereal bowls and cups. Kinda sad.

But look at all the money I am saving by feeding my kids for free!

The Rains Came Down and the Decibels Went Up

2009-09-16T18:41:00.000-05:00

And that's just how it happened. It rained today, and there I was stuck inside with my kiddos. My 20 kiddos all inside those four walls. And they want to run, and they want to yell. And believe me, I want them to do those things, too. Just not inside my room.

Now, before it sounds like I am whining about my class, let me tell ya....I have a terrific group of kids. They are smart, and they are funny. They make me laugh all day long. But quiet...they are not. In fact, I am chalking their energy and enthusiasm up to adding to their sweetness and intelligence.

So today was a long day. And I am tired. And to top it all off, I have these other 3 kids that want to come home with me every day. And they are loud. And unfortunately for them, I yell back at them.

I'm starting to think I need a good pair of earplugs. But then I would miss all of those funny, smart things that make my day so great. What's a girl to do?

Pray for sunshine. At least from 10:45-11:30.

There are no words....

2009-09-12T21:04:00.000-05:00

I cannot even begin to tell you how overwhelmed with blessings I feel right now.

What do you say to a man who choses to be a dad? One that doesn't have to, but wants to anyway? One that takes all of the tough times that come with raising a son that has special needs and who resists him every step of the way? One that has raised a boy since an infant and wants so bad for him to be his son like he already feels he is? Thank you is not enough.

What do you say to two boys who are so full of wonder and questions? All of the why's and why not's and I don't understands? And the never agains..... Because they should not have to know the bitter sweet feelings that they do. Because they understand that they are so loved and wanted, but also understand loss.

It would be easy to say I felt alone four years ago. Just me and my boy and my big pregnant belly. But I never did. I knew that God would send me and those two boys the man that we needed. Because God is in the business of knowing that a little boy needs a man to help him grow. He did it for His Son, He would do it for mine. And He did. But watching that come to be, a man that loved me and my boys, who was not only willing but wanted to make a family with us, that is humbling. And to see him on that stand in front of the judge and our parents asking to be their father forever....well...there are no words.

So tonight I am just overwhelmed. And thankful.

So here they are! As Parker said, "More important than a birthday." Because they have a Father who loved them enough to give them a daddy.

My Fellow Americans....

2009-09-08T16:29:00.000-05:00

So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?
Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America. _President Obama, September 8, 2009

So I haven't posted in awhile. Thanks, TB for not calling me out on it. But this hit me. And normally I would avoid this political thing like the plague. Not because I don't like politics-because I do. I wanted in the political ring until an unfortunate advising incident as a Freshman at HSU. But because it is uncomfortable for people with strong views. And strong views I got, of the blue-hued, which is not normally popular in my chosen profession. So I silently wave my right-wing flag in my closet as my peeps rally the red. I'm comfortable there in my nonconfrontational arena. But I digress.

Today our President spoke to our nation by reaching out to our future. He took the bull-headed by the horns, and told those kids that they are responsible. He promised that we (teachers, parents, and governments) are going to do our best to provide for them and their educations as they prepare for their futures. Then he told him that they have these tools available for them, but that the rest is on them.

And I gotta tell ya, I like it. I like that he "got real" with the kids about overcoming these issues that they face. He didn't sugarcoat anything or diminish the difficulties that they deal with every day. But he did say that you have to make the best of your opportunities DESPITE these things. I like that these kids are acknowledged for their trials, that he didn't tell them that they don't know tough times. Because they do. But he did tell them that they cannot crutch themselves on that excuse. That they have to learn to pick themselves up, dust their pants off, and get to the task at hand.

I was skeptical. I will REALLY be skeptical (negative) tomorrow when his whole healthcare speech goes down. But for today I agree and appreciate him taking the time to do what he has the opportunity like no other president before him....reaching out and sharing some hope for doing better.

Top Ten Reasons the First Day of School is like Childbirth

2009-08-19T18:26:00.001-05:00

10. You really need heavy medication. Really.

9. Little bitty kids....big 'ol responsibilities.

8. Time seems to warp speed ahead and stop completely at the same time.

7. Paperwork. And piles of supplies.

6. Contraction-like, regular 5 minute tantrums.

5. Crying mommas. Sweating daddies.

4. The whole family shows up taking pictures.

3. Your body is physically and mentally exhausted, yet there is no sleep in sight.

2. Did I mention the medication?

1. Like childbirth and other traumatic events, you immediately suppress any memories of the day. Otherwise, could we really chose to go through this again?

****This post was co-authored by T.D., and per request of T.B. Love ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ode to Red

2009-07-02T10:40:00.000-05:00

Oh, Red. How Parker has coveted your hue on his walls.
How he has longed to see your bright color brighten his every day.
He has asked for you. He has pleaded and bargained for you.

Maddie's sweet pink room. One 2-year old all alone in a fabulously tinted girly room.
Two bigger boys sharing one tiny room with (somewhat) white walls.
Guilt as a mother for putting off the boys decorating for the much funner, sweeter palatte.

Red paint. Bought as a surprise while the boys are away.
Finally I have reconciled myself to the compromise of one brilliant red wall in the sea of brown.
Parker will be so thrilled when he comes home from his reunion.

Paint mixer guy at Walmart. With your smug expression and less than helpful demeanor.
You mix paint, my red paint, with all of the excitement that would come as watching it dry.
"Here you go. Hope you like it." And I did like it. Just enough for one wall.

Overflowing plastic bags of painting supplies. Carried precariously into the bedroom.
Time to get started! Bags settled and organized. Husband reluctantly spectating.
Now to pour the paint.

Lid not tight. Flying red paint! Arching rainbow of red soaring across the room.
Red paint on toys. Red paint on mom. Red paint on carpet.
Red on dad's usually calm face.

Toys moved outside to dry. Woolite on carpet. Mom in shower. Clothes in trash.
Finally paint on the wall. The fabulous red paint that is now less appealing.
Until it is finished. Beautiful. Decorating tips of 7-year old a hit!

Except for the 1x2 blob of red paint on the tan carpet.
Which will be cleverly disguised by a bed. Or a rug.Or toys, which will be yelled and fussed over. "Clean them up!" Alas, the floor will never be clean.

A Good Mom...

2009-06-30T00:11:00.000-05:00

So....here's my guilt list (for today.)

A good mom.....cooks real dinner every night.
I....have the "kids eat free" schedule of every restaurant in our vicinity down, and we are involved in their schemes way too much.

A good mom.....has all of the laundry neatly folded, organized, and put away.
I....have clean clothes. And they are either folded on my bedroom floor or shoved into the kids overflowing drawers. Let's not even talk about ironing. I don't know where mine is.

A good mom.....has super fun activities and crafts planned out for her kids to keep them happy, busy, and engaged in meaningful activities.
I....let my kids play their DS. and the Wii.

A good mom.....takes her kids to the park and catches them at the bottom of the slide, pushes them on the swings, and digs in the sand.
I....take a book. I give them a dumptruck and a shovel and tell them to play.

A good mom.....covers her kids in sunscreen, even on overcast days, because we all know how easily they can burn.
I...well....Maddie is a little pink.

A good mom....never raises her voice at her kids, and for heavens sakes would NOT spank a child.
I.....do.

A good mom....sets a good example for her kids, keeping her cool and remaining calm even when the lady at McDonalds is rude and messes the order up.
I....might have made an ugly face or even fussed a little bit.

A good mom....sits by the side of the pool while the oldest has his swim team practice.
I....needed to run to Wal-mart.

A good mom.....knows that arguing between parents is best done behind closed doors.
I.....was loud right in the middle of the kitchen.

A good mom.....loves her kids more than anything else in the world.
I.....do.

My Kaden-bug

2009-06-23T23:03:00.000-05:00

Tonight I got in from Conway at 10:45. I came into a quiet, dark house, and was ready to sit down and feel all pitiful about the hours I am spending in this summer class and to decompress all of the pressure of a HUGE upcoming assignment.

I turned around and this is what I saw:

Isn't that the cutest thing that goes bump in the night? He is my little night owl, and I love when we get this special time-just me and him.

So Kaden is my guest author tonight....

Mommy: What is your favorite thing to do?

Kaden: Um. play. my playing is that I like to play with Spiderman and a ninja turtle.

Mommy:What do you like to eat?

Kaden: um. Pizza. I like to eat chicken. That's silly, ain't it, mom?

Mommy: Tell me about your family.

Kaden: Momma. She works so hard. Daddy-I like to play with him. Parker-he likes to play with me. And Maddie. She likes to play with me and eat pizza with me.

Kaden: Is there anything I can say to you?

Mommy:Sure!

Kaden: What kinda animal is a giraffe? And what's a squirrel?

Mommy: How old are you?

Kaden: three. There's gonna be a cake on my birthday.

Mommy: What kind of cake?

Kaden: Spiderman. Stop! I need the balloons. And it has Spiderman on it. Maddie would like Tinkerbell instead of Spiderman. Or I would like Spongebob cake. Okay?

Mommy: What kind of present do you want?

Kaden: A game. A Dora game. It's easy.

Kaden: Can I push the story?

Mommy: Sure. Here you go...push a few....

ffzxcdcdcxzZSSSXXXXVCWWQQWAQZZHKKJUJMJNYJJYUJJHGNH

Mommy: Kaden, why are you so sweet?

Kaden: Because I like you.

Mommy: I think you're special

Kaden: God made me that way. Duh!

And off he goes!

What a sweet boy. He has been special in so many ways, and he always brings a smile to my face. I have enjoyed every single minute of being his mommy, and I can't believe he will be turning four in a few days.

Where have I been all my life?

2009-06-22T23:30:00.000-05:00

So I haven't posted in about 5o years. Not because I haven't wanted to or haven't had much to say. Mostly because we have been super busy, and because I have been procrastinating. And painting. So I have possible lost all my readers and this will go out to the blogosphere known as posterity. That's okay, because after a few (gulp) months, my first post is going to be about reality shows. Because I'm deep like that.

I promised myself that after last season of The Bachelor I would NEVER EVER EVER watch that show again. I hated how he broke her heart right on tv only to go on and get with the girl she shoulda chosen anyways. I don't even care who I was rootin' for (Melissa) I thought it was a shame that ABC exploited feelings that way. It was dirty and I was done.

Until The Bachelorette. And, y'all, I didn't even care for her on The Bachelor after her silly hot dog test. But due to lack of quality summer programming, here me and bff TiVo go for another round. And it has not disappointed.....

The guys with the foot fetish....CREEPY!!! Why in the world would you keep around a man who gets all googly-eyed over your feet?!? He can't even hold a conversation with her without drooling. And I have been concerned that they would make it to the fantasy suite date, and there they would be...her, creepy foot guy, and Dr. Scholl's all behind locked doors. Yuk.

And by the way...she lost one of the top guys last week due to his boss being unsympathetice to his search for love. On national T.V. While the business was crumbling around him. Times are tough, buddy. In this economy, can we afford to lose a quality employee because we can't do without him while he searches for his one true love on a game show? He must not understand the word "recession."

The next great guy she let go tonight because he is "too perfect." I hate it when a man is too great! I see her point...what if they got married and he didn't put his underwear in the floor? Or if he cooked and cleaned up dinner? "You sleep, darling, I'll get up with the baby in the middle of the night because I know are exhausted and I appreciate you." Not on my watch, buddy!

Now she is left with Wes, whom I loved from the first episode because of his down home southern boy charm. It gets us everytime, doesn't it? He whipped out that gee-tar and sang her a song. And I swooned with her. Too bad since then he is outright telling everyone but Jillian that he is in it to win it....and by it I mean a recording contract. Not her. So I guess my whole point here is why can't someone tell her. To me, if the idea is to show that the show could produce true love, then let her in on his dirty little secret. Is there not a cool Paulette-from-Legally-Blonde inspired hairdresser on the set that can give her a sideways glance and a dirty shake of the head? Oh, but to be that stylist!!!

*********************************************************************

On a sadder note, I am heart-broken by what I saw on Jon and Kate tonight. I have watched them from the beginning when they were interesting because they were young and poor and struggling. I gritted my teeth when she started getting a little bossy and diva-ish, and was feeling more and more distant from them as they moved on to WAY greener grasses on the other side of a perfectly landscaped and manicured security fence.

What has happened in their marriage is awful. I watched tonight with more sympathy for Kate than someone outside of a situation like that could understand. I felt her pain as she talked about her kids not becoming a number. I understood how she feels like her life is taking a course that she didn't chose and she is being forced along for a ride. My heart broke for her hurt at the anger she is receiving and the inability to make it better or know her full role in it. And that she wants so badly for her children to be okay through it all.

Divorce is such an ugly word, one that I hate to use or have attached to me. No matter how long it has been or how happy and unbelievably blessed I am right now, I will always feel like the word implies I failed. Or I didn't try hard enough. It is something that I deal with every day, and something that I try so hard to protect my children from.

I am happy that she knows there will be better days. Because there will. There are.

In closing...

So...if you don't comment and tell me who your favorite bachelor is, then I will know that I have been abandoned. And it may be another forever before I post again.....

And if you don't have a favorite bachelor...I don't know where you've been!

Pretty hilarious in that not-so-funny kinda way

2009-04-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

So today we had a pep rally at school for our big testing that will happen over the next couple of days. It was fun (even if the wind was whippin' AND we were facing the wrong way sitting uphill-not easy.) Highlights include moms with pompoms, a friend dressed as a 5'2 koala bear (and her little bear friend whom I was sure was gonna bolt for it any minute,) and a rousing cheer from the pre-k classes..."Do your best (clap) on the test (clap.) And please don't think I'm kidding when I say that we spent an intriguing 10 minutes figuring out how many claps to include. Better yet...that totally never happened. I'm kidding.

My favorite part of the program was our speaker, a local university president (who has the sweetest family, one of which I will forevermore claim as my own child...sorry...you can't have her back.) During his speech he encouraged our students to do their best (clap...on the test...clap) because that is key to going to college. And if you want to be any number of things, pro sports player, doctor, lawyer, cheerleader (insert loudest applause here???,) or a teacher, then you will have to finish college.

Here's the punchline....wait for it...wait for it....

"A person who has a college education, on average, will earn ONE MILLION DOLLARS more than a person who only has a high school diploma."

I am anxiously awaiting my check.

Because according to my (terrible, four time flunking algebra) math, I will have to work 24 years to earn a million. And that's just counting MY million, not minus what I would have been making had I started a trade. And especially not if it is a million more than the boatload of money my hairdresser makes. Add all that up, and I would have to work an estimated FOREVER before that all added up just right.

And you know people don't go into education for the money. There are totally intristic rewards that I benefit from every day. Touching young lives, making a difference. Yada, yada, yada. But seriously...millions?

FYI...When I asked about my pending fortune, I was informed that according to data, the average for someone with a master's degree (which I will hold come December) is 1.6 million. I am already spending it.

As a consolation, I get to have the summer off (weeeelllll, kinda, after all of those workshops and prep for the next year,) and there is that little thing called spring break. Plus, all of those handy shopping days at Thanksgiving and Christmas-you know the ones where I spend my fortune.

BTW...Our fabulous teachers have worked tirelessly prepping the kids for the big tests. They have trained the kids on how to be their best that morning....lots of sleep, big breakfast, etc. Parker told me this morning that he needs a breakfast with real food. Not a honeybun or Little Debbie. He wants bacon. I swear, sometimes you wonder where they get all of these extravagent ideas.

Cooking. In the morning. What's next, brushing teeth?

Spring Break Lottery

2009-03-23T10:09:00.000-05:00

Scenerio Number 1:

My family and I are leaving early this morning for Disney. We will be spending a glorious week in a fantastic hotel with pools and playgrounds and lots of amenities just for kids. We will be hangin' out with the big mouse and buddies, wearing ears with our names written on them, riding til' we puke, and laughing so hard our bellies hurt. We will come back tired, happy, with bags full of fun souveniers and lots of quality pictures for scrapping.

Scenerio Number 2:

My mom is keeping the kids for a week. This time tomorrow Brad and I will be at a swanky resort in Mexico. We will be eating at fancy restraunts by ourselves, no kids or ketchup or fights over the red crayon. Our drinks will be protected from the tropical sun by tiny umbrellas. We will sit on the beach at night and listen to waves crash on the shore. We will bring back sunburns and the most perfect of shells that we picked up while we walked hand-in-hand down the beach.

Scenerio Number 3:

Three of my best girlfriends and I are headed to Bliss Relaxation Spa for moms. We are flying first class to our getaway, where we will be pampered to no end. There will be massages. There will be manis and pedis. Our skin will glow from the most exotic of facial ingredients. We will come home to our families relaxed and beautiful, ready to take back our homes and whatever the kids and men did while we were gone-because it is worth it.

Scenerio Number 4:

We are hanging around our house this week. It is 10:00 and everyone is still in their pajamas. I have a couple of serious dates with the closets and the storage shed to do the old seasonal/sizes switcheroo. We might fish. I might take the boys to the movies. We could be eating pizza at some point. Noone is making bedtime. There is lots of Wii going on. And I am halfway through my second crazy-to-be-reading teen vampire love story (I started the first one last week.) It is pretty much anything goes. No big plans....just....us being us in our home.

So....one of these resembles our break. What about you?

March-Makin' me-Mad(ness)

2009-03-21T19:34:00.000-05:00

Here it is. This time of year when basketball reigns in our home. Yippee.

I love me some Razorback basketball. We always try to make it up for a few games, and I will find myself callin' the Hogs with the rest of them.

But the Hogs are done this year. And now I my t.v. has been taken hostage by these other teams. Why is it that I can't make myself look at the games where there are colors like orange or green, no redeeming Razorback Red anywhere on the court.

And when Brad is into something, he is devoted. He doesn't watch much t.v. during the year-unless intermittent spells of the outdoor channel count as watching (it doesn't to me...in my mind it equals Nyquil.) I am allowed almost complete remote control (HA!) to my Grey's Anatomy or (regrettably) The Bachelor following. Pretty much he is an outside hunting, fishing kinda guy. Except for when the brackets come out and he totally loses his mind.

So now I only see his eyeballs when he stupors to the kitchen for sustenance. And it is remarkably quiet around here as he isn't on the bottom of a self-induced three kid dogpile. I guess a bonus was that I went to dinner and a movie with two friends last night, and I don't think he ever noticed I left the house. Not to mention I know this will all be over soon.

But if I hear the squeak of overpriced athletic shoes on a highly waxed wood floor one more time I may scream. It is literally the sound that keeps me awake at night and is haunting my dreams.

I totally caved...

2009-03-17T20:24:00.000-05:00

So everyone has been going gaga over these silly vampire books. Now, I love trashy reading as much as the next person, but I was determined not to cave. Not when my teenage cousin told me I had to read it cause it is, like, the best book ever, and that guy is so hot. Not when all of my ADULT friends with fabulous taste (generally speaking) jumped on the bandwagon. I shall overcome.

And like just about everything else I ever said in my life I wouldn't do, I bought the book. Just the first one, and only because it was on sale and I needed something totally indulgent to read over spring break. And because I am feeling really left out of the hype and I like to be "in the know."

But I WILL NOT be one of those people who are coming into work in the morning with bloodshot eyes, a reading hangover with all of the tell-tale signs. However....I have only started reading it yesterday, and I am already a good ways through the book. And I will probably want to watch the movie after reading the book, but only to compare literature/cinema versions. Possibly I will want to read the next in the series if I have time over spring break. Because, after all, who doesn't want to be swept back to her sultry teenage years full of rainy northwestern small town life filled with hotty vampire love? I know it will take me back...I can relate.

Are you a reader (or will you admit it?) Do you get the hype? Even more importantly...do you have the next book?

Lessons learned in the Target checkout...

2009-03-15T18:29:00.000-05:00

So there are many valuable lessons to be learned in Target. Target really knows how to put on a sale-once they decide they want it out of there, they don't play. The best bargains are found on the back endcaps of each aisle. If you really like something but have an aversion to paying full price, give it a week or two....it will be yours at a much more reasonable cost. Sometimes if something is already marked down, you will be delighted to find out that it is even less. Popcorn and a coke is less that $1.25 in the snack bar. The knowledge is endless.

Maddie has this baby. It is her thing, like Linus and his blankie. The baby is nothing special, something her Mamaw gave her for Christmas. I don't know what the appeal is, but this is the toy that stuck. It isn't cute. It used to make these creepy noises like it was possessed, and would even cry while it was alone in the crib. She loves this thing, and I don't mean kinda. She has toted the baby all over our house, on vacation, to Nana's. She even gave it a bath one night, which took care of the freaky sounds. Nevertheless, it is her thing. She loves it. We have come to call the baby Betty. As in, Ugly Betty. Not nice, but .....

She is seriously attached to this thing, and because I have waited for a little girl to wear bows and play dolls, I want her to have a pretty baby, one that I can put away as an heirloom one day to lovingly give to my grandaughter. This ain't that baby. So I have bought other dolls just knowing that she will find one that is nicer to tote around. She hasn't taken my bait.

Recently we have become afraid that something will happen to Betty, and Maddie will never sleep again. They have this whole bedtime routine. Maddie gathers her with her pacie and blanket, then tucks her in just right before she lays herself down. She is the first thing Maddie looks for when she gets up in the morning. Last week she cried to walk over to Papaw's, then made Papaw walk her home to get her "Bebe." We don't know how we would survive if Betty became lost or dismembered, and she does have two older brothers so that is entirely possible.

Yesterday Maddie and I had a girl's shopping day to Duck Duck Goose and Target. I was so proud, because she had a list of what she wanted to look for, and I am not kidding when I say that she came up with "shoes" on her own. Bestill my heart. We were shopping around Target when she spotted from across the aisle "my Bebe!" Only this one was clean, complete, and moved with the creepy noises. She would not let go. Daddy and I had talked about buying a spare "in case." Meet the newest member of our family...Betty the Second.

So we put her in the buggy and headed for the checkout. The girl who was checking had to pry the baby out of Maddie's hands. I jokingly said, "I don't know what's up with this baby. We are buying our second one because she is so attached to the first one. And she isn't even the cutest baby...I don't know why she loves this baby so much."

The checkout girl with all of her wisdom looked at me and said, "That just goes to show you that she doesn't decide who to love based on looks."

Whoa. Who new I was being so superficial about baby doll selection?!? So I paid for the baby, and we took her home. I won't say for sure, but we might be looking in the ol' baby name book for something new to call our little ones.

Have you ever had important life reminders in the most obscure places? Any suggestions for names?

Hello, my name is Amy, and I have a problem

2009-02-24T17:15:00.001-06:00

I am an addict. I have invested far too much time and money into my vice. It has kept me up nights, caused me to spend money I don't have, and robbed my children of hours of my awesomeness.

So I quit. Cold turkey. Last year I decided, "I cannot keep this up. I am the mother of three, a wife, and a professional. It is not in my character to let something like this consume my thoughts and my free time." That's it...I'm done. Forever. And being the strong person that I am I haven't caved in over a year and a half. I haven't even touched the stuff.

And y'all...my life is comfortably boring. I am totally talking about scrapbooking!

So seriously...I was too far behind, had too many little kids, not enough space. Yada yada yada. Blah.

Then I ran across this amazing coupon from one of my favorite photo sites. Shutterfly is so easy to use, has fantastic quality items, is super fast, and gives great coupons. I'm hooked. I have spent hours making beautiful albums for my mom and mom-in-law. I made an amazing book about our beach trip, full of fantastic memories and wonderful pictures. I couldn't have been happier. That was it! No more stealing a day here and there to haul out all of my JUNK to spend sleepless nights while my kids are tucked in cropping out detailed spreads. I could do online in hours what I would NEVER get done in real life.

And I was pleased with this and myself. I felt so saavy and smart. Then one of my great friends invited me to a scrap party at her house. Knowing about my affair with digital scrapping, she suggested I bring my laptop and put together albums while she and the girls gut and glue. I was so cocky when I ran into her in Hobby Lobby the night before. "So...buying supplies? I guess I don't need to, huh?" ha. haha.

Brad loaded up up my car with my homemade snacks and laptop bag. That was it! No dragging suitcases full of equipment from under the bed. No pulling tote boxes from closet shelves. "I am so smart!" I think to myself smuggly. "Why in the world would anyone mess with all of that when they could do THIS?!?!"

So I got to her house. She had cleared me a super comfy corner of her sectional for me to curl up and "scrap" away. We ate, we talked, we looked at each others' books. Time to get this thing rolling.

Only....They were sharing papers and gadgets and stickers and trinkets. And they were discussing layouts and colors. And there was all of this talk about your own handwriting for your kids to keep. Sheesh!

And I miss my cutters and punches! I long to flip through papers and stickers and real photos. Not to mention I have scrapped hundreds of boy pages, and now I finally have a girl to create layouts about! Did you know that there are glittery papers? Come on, now! I need me some of that!!!

So I went home all caught up from being 3 years behind on 3 kids (which combined with our family album is, like, 12 years in scrapbook talk.) But I was also sad.

So after thinking it over, I have decided that my Shutterfly album is going to be beautiful. It is even better because it catches me up. But as for me and my house...we need mom-made books. And now that I am not so far behind, perhaps I can keep up? I may even fanagle my way into getting to go to the famous scrapbook weekend. I figure that if I can make myself work on books regularly from now on, I won't get so far behind that I feel like I can never get it done.

Besides...even if that happens....Shutterfly will always be there!

Puddles and Pig-tails

2009-02-15T17:03:00.000-06:00

So I have this marvelous idea...not so original, but much needed (I think.)

I am kinda the garage sale queen. I love getting up early on Friday mornings in the summer to search side roads for bargains. Especially bargains that are in the form of clothes for my kids.

I don't think I have to tell you how expensive it is to outfit a kid-much less three. And surely you know our country is in the middle of a financial blurp right now (have you bought groceries lately? A gallon of milk? Yikes!)

And there are so many moms in town that have their kids dressed in the cutest outfits. Outfits that I envy and hope to find at yard sale prices someday.

Anyhoo...I was thinking about my growing pile of kids clothes that my own can no longer wear, combined with their never ending need for new things (that will soon be outgrown.) Combine that with the prep time required to properly host a sale of my own...and here I am back to my fantastic plan.

I am thinking that a huge Arkadelphia Mom's Shop and Swap would be so much fun. I have been planning it out in my head for months, and have finally come to the conclussion that it is totally do-able.

How awesome would it be for all of us great Arkadoo moms to get together on one Saturday to sale all of our kids' clothes, toys, furniture, and bedding at one location? Think Duck Duck Goose without complicated tagging systems, distance, and someone making money off of your items.

So here is what I am thinking....after hours of driving I have a plan!

One weekend we all pitch in a nominal fee (probably around 10-15 dollars to cover expenses and advertising.) Every one hosts their own mini sale at one location. Your stuff, your prices, your hard earned moolah....and maybe a few fantastic finds for your own kiddos in the end. Of course, for all of you super talented moms with businesses, you could peddle your goods there, too. This would be a great way to provide for our children while saving and making our families money.

I really think this could be super successful...and fun. I also think this is a worthy project, but I need your input. If you would be interested in selling at such an event (and sellers would get to shop first!) then give me some feedback in the form of a comment. Pass this on to your frugal minded friends. Enough interest and we'll give it the old mommy-saving-money try.

Not my fantasy spa weekend

2009-02-06T21:27:00.000-06:00

One of the "quirks" of my master's program is unconventional scheduling. Being aimed at teachers who CANNOT take a break in the middle of the day in the interest of higher education, most classes are scheduled one night a week, a ton are available online (or mostly online with a few meetings.) I am enrolled in two such courses, but in a lack of reasoning I enrolled in three graduate courses this semester. Because what else do I have to do?

This third course in particular is mostly clinical experience, logging hours weekly targeting one at-risk reader. Except for the face-to-face meetings which are held over three weekends. So tonight I headed up for my first weekend that shouldn't count as a weekend. And since I am getting this degree at UCA, I being in class from 4:30 til 9:30 on Friday with a brief nap before returning to a full day of sessions on Saturday seemed a little much.

My brilliant plan was to come up on Friday and stay in Conway overnight. Secretly I was romancing the idea of a night alone. By myself. No fighting, whining, crying. No begging for one last drink or snack before bed. No having wait for one little person to fall asleep before I could shut my eyes only to awaken to another crying to get into my bed.

Just me, with a People magazine, dinner wherever I drove through (no happy meals or ketchup needed,) drifting peacefully off to sleep and waking to the same tranquility. Bathroom all to myself, having to only worry about getting myself fed, ready, and out the door. Yeah, right.

Last night Parker and I had a talk about where I would be going and why. There was discussion about behavior and possible a bribe with a new movie he has been waiting on. Because, y'all, I am not above a good well timed bribe. Right as I got to the part about, "Mommy has to be away for one night, but I will be back the next afternoon..."

So after Parker's pitiful looks and moping, combined with Brad's worries of having all the kids all by himself (and you can't blame him-see above,) everyone woke up this morning with a great idea. WE ARE GOING WITH MOM!!!!

Because Brad didn't want me to have to stay by myself. Because my hotel has an indoor pool and we haven't been swimming in months.

yay. great. i am so excited you are going.....yippee.

My blissful, relaxing few hours turned into vacation madness.

But, seriously, we are having a pretty great time. I guess my professor thought we looked tired after only 3 hours, so she let us go. And the kids had already eaten, so I got to pick where I wanted to go without their influence. Now they are happily swimming away, getting along. No crying. No running and wrestling and tearing up the house I just cleaned. And breakfast is on Comfort Suites in the morning, so no cooking or dishes.

This might not be so bad after all!

Minding my own (business)

2009-02-04T18:20:00.000-06:00

I am a mommy and a teacher at heart. This gives me three really important ?gifts?
1. I am really (good at faking) patient.
2. I can multi-task with the best of 'em.
3. I want to mama everyone.

It is really the last one that gets me in trouble. I have this need to fix things for people. Even if the things are out of reach of my fixin', need to be fixed by the person themself (even if they would be happy for me to take over,) or are just flat out none of my business. And even if the item at hand is none of my business...I generally have an opinion, especially if it is someone important to me and I KNOW I AM RIGHT!!!

So there is a person right now that I love that is making a tough decision. I am not talking about which socks go with those shoes. I mean one of those life-altering, forever changing, once you made it you can't go back kinda deals.

Technically it is none of my concern. But as a person who is almost 30 and is still going to school because I changed my mind about what I want to be when I grow up, I want her to avoid those kind of errors in judgement. I want her to make this decision based on what is best in the long run, not what is easiest right now. Because, as some of you know, you just can't go back to certain parts of your life and take a do-over. Especially after the majority of your choices turn from what will I do to what is best for me and all of the little people who depend on me.

I was blessed to work for a wonderful person a few years ago who gave me possibly the best advice of my life, applicable in almost every situation..."You can't always say everything you think." And right now I am trying to practice that preachin'. So I am turning it over to the One in charge, because I know she listens to Him too, and she is His business. Not mine.

But I do love her, and I am praying for her. Because I want her to be and do all that she is and never settle.

P.S. You know who you are....So now I guess my opinion is outta the bag...but you are always in my prayers!

I was a winner...if only for a day

2009-02-03T19:20:00.000-06:00

So I am a faithful blog follower of about 10 fabulous ladies (as seen in my "Who I'm Keeping Up With" scroll.) I love to log on and catch up with my friends-some real-life pals, and others only in bloggy world. Big Mama is one of my favorite pretend buddies-I think she is just hilarious, and I have been inspired by her scarf-tying.

side-tracked note: This week I implemented "Scarf Tuesday" at LEP, because we are always on the cutting edge of trendy as primary teachers, and this particular "in" didn't involve Hannah Montana or anything sparkly. Except for my AMAZING sequin blue scarf that had no takers...fuddy duds. And because it is so fun to hear C.S. make brilliant statements, like, "You didn't tell me outright it was Scarf Tuesday. You could have spelled it out...S-C-ARF..."

Anyhoo...I was bopping along my blog catchin-ups the other night when one of my faves posted a contest for some of my faves...free books and a Target gift card. Bliss. Dutifully I entered (along with about 500 other readers.) Sunday I logged on to read the results, and BEHOLD!!! Amy with a gmail address is the grand prize winner! I am Amy! I have a Gmail address! I am already spending my $50 in my head!

The only problem was that the winner was picked by random number generator, and the comments weren't numbered. And there were about a kazillion Amys posted. Hmmmm......

Wishing. And hoping. And thinking. And praying. Planning. And dreaming.

Checking my inbox every 10 minutes for a long 20 hours or so.

I am Amy. I have a gmail address. So does another Amy, and she is the winner. I am super happy that someone in my name family won the big prize (the second place winner was also an Amy. Who'da thunk it.) Either way it was very exciting to have won something, even if I am not bringing home the goods in the end.

My classroom, the barnyard

2009-01-29T18:11:00.000-06:00

Three days inside will turn four year olds into animals. That is a fact. Three days inside with a hint of snow...puleeze! Just hire me on at the zoo. Crazy with a capital Prozac!

So we have watched the weather and speculated on what might come of days out. We have been stuck inside our classroom looking at each other for 7 hours a day. We have played with forgotten toys, made new games, done TONS of crafts, and passed our time as productively as possible. The expiration on productivity was yesterday around 11 a.m. when every toy became a projectile, and even my sweetest little one was looking kinda "Lord of the Flies." Time for sunshine!!!

So my kiddos have the complete capability to turn to animals. But today we had the pleasure of adding to our normal, everyday barnyard hubabaloo. We had a pig in the room.

One of my little girl's dad had rescued a piglet after hunting down mama...images of Bambi gone bad. Being a sucker for baby animals (we raised a litter of baby rabbits inour class last year,) and for exposing my students to any possible experience, we asked to have the pig for a visit. The visit turned to a day-long pig sitting adventure.

This little piggy went to school. I am not talking about a Wilbur kinda swine. I mean a wild hog, soon to be boar with tusks, kinda fella. He was probably all of 3 pounds and still on the bottle, but boy could the little guy holler. He squealed and squeaked and grunted. We bottle fed him, and even took him outside to recess on his tiny leash. He spent naptime visiting other classes-apparently his schedule wasn't the same as the kids. Good times.

The best part for me was the other kids on the playground. They ran quickly up to him hollering "puppy." He would grunt or squeal, then they would get this priceless expression on their face, first of shock, then of bewilderment at what was this tiny beast, and why would a teacher be carrying it out to play.

It's a Girl!!!

2009-01-28T18:50:00.000-06:00

So being a mom of boys is great. They are happy eating off the floor. They can't wait to get outside. And they LOVE their mamas. I believe in my heart that boys are easier to raise (except for potty training.) At least until they are teens. This is partially because I was a HORRIBLE teenage girl, and I would send my daughter to a boarding school if she even thought about some of the things I did.

Boys are great, but secretly (or not so) I have always wanted a girl. Someone to dress up, look pretty, play nice. After Kaden was born, I truely thought I was done right up to the surprise that is Maddie. I was surrounded by boys. At the school where I worked all of the teachers had boys (lots 'o boys.) Girls were this mysterious creation that existed only in theory for us. Even laying in the ultrasound room I wouldn't believe that I was having a girl. I didn't paint the nursery. I didn't buy lots of pink ruffle socks. I just didn't think it could happen.

My father-in-law made the comment the other day that when I had Maddie I said I would have her in pink and a dress every day. "And you have!" Weeelllll....what else was I to do? After two boys in blue, spiderman costumes and dirty socks, I needed a little girly in my life. Brad swore that I was gonna make her hate pink before she was 2.

Turns out I haven't scarred her! She is turning out every bit as pink as I wanted her to be. We disappeared the other day, and were found quietly playing babies in her room. She will be two in a couple of weeks, and already her playtime is spent rocking dolls, singing them songs, and patting them, whispering, "Shh..." Such a little mommy.

She is also my little shopping buddy. Her first word...and I am not kidding....was, "Shoes!" We love to sneak away and look for pretty things. Turns out dressing a girl is not only more fun, but also more expensive. Boys are easy: shirts and pants. Blue and red. Girls.....oh, my. Dresses and skirts, and bows and ribbons and ruffle bloomers and matching shoes.....we could go forever. Thankfully I have a great friend with a little girl who loves to pass cute clothes on to Maddie. And we love us some hand-me-downs.

Now...having a girl is great, but I wouldn't trade my boys for ten bow-wearing, doll-toting little ladies. I have said that if we were having another I would want him to be another boy. Because girls are sweet and soft, but....I love me my boys, too, in a very no muss, no fuss, mama's boy kinda way.

Frugal...Shouldn't that be a four letter word?

2009-01-17T14:43:00.000-06:00

So I have been spending time this week catching up on blogs that normally get passed over in our frantic fight to survive the battle that is our children. Thanks to all of the little angels adding so much to my life, I was endowed with the gift of Strep Throat. Me, as an adult who is never sick thanks to the immune system enhanced by my petri dish-like surroundings, found myself in the doctor's office Wednesday with a sore throat. So ridiculous, and so only the beginning of the fever-aches-chill cycle that would be my week in review.

Any-hoo. Found myself at home ALONE for the first time in, like, 8 years. Kaden and Parker tucked safely away at school, and Maddie at daycare, with my Mom running interference and night duty. Totally on my own to wallow in my suffering.

And that's just what I did for Wednesday and Thursday. Literally didn't move out of the bed. By Friday my heavy antibiotics and pain killer had finally hit the spot, and I began to feel like myself again. Like myself who hadn't read, saw, or talked to ANYONE in days. Like myself who had barely been coherent long enough to be sure I was taking the correct drugs and to use the bathroom. Like myself who (gulp) hadn't seen what my loving husband had refused to see in his man-blurr of unknowingness about how the house gets messy and his random trash and food and laundry here and there has nothing to do with it...........I digress. Breathe and count. That's better.

So I emerged from my strep/fever/drug hibernation and entered what I had feared to be a battle zone of fast food wrappers and dirty socks to find that...he had cleaned house! He had washed dishes AND taken out the trash, and since the kids were gone there was no clutter. OH NO HE DIDN'T!!! Oh yes, he did.

I had a good portion of my kid-free, finally feeling alive, sick day left to entertain my VERY BORED self. Which is a completely wordy-haven't talked to anyone in days-way of telling you that I have been catching up on my peeps.

Apparently there is some movement to be frugal. Now I like the sound of this, and we all can afford to save a little money, and the holidays are over, and REALLY we already have too much.

But seriously. These folks are airing their dirty pocketbooks and posting day-by-day plays of what they are spending! I am aghast (and totally entertained and inspired and disgusted and intrigued.) And, well, hooked like I am a toothy-smiling, tank-top and scarf wearing bachelorette about to ride a blimp.

There is no way I am anywhere evolved enough for this kind of public confessional. I think first I would have to get a grasp myself on how much I spend myself. Not that it is a lot, because, well I am a teacher and you know how we roll. But it is often, and daily. And, well....I am kinda the debit card queen. Please don't tell Brad-you have no idea how organized he is about his banking and financing. We are not only talking separate bank accounts. We have separate banks, people.

So my newly-well resolution will not be to stop using my card on bubble gum and the RedBox. It will not be to (this almost seems inhuman) avoid Target. But I did see a few things I like, especially about meal planning and shopping, as well as cooking meats and freezing in meal-sized portions to cut down on cooking and clean up times. I'm all 'bout that. And I really have hated the whole "I don't know what to cook" feeling, and that it seems like we have the same meals over and over again, and I know I have done better in the past.

So thanks for inspiring me. I can't believe how amazing and controlled and organized you all are. And good luck to everyone in their endeavors-they are worthy. And if any of you feel the need to confess or air your laundry...be my guest. Because as you know, the most dramatic "Bachelor" ever will not air until Monday night. Plus I'm still not well enough to make it to Target.

Wii are family

2009-01-10T19:32:00.000-06:00

Santa was gonna bring Parker a Wii for Christmas. He looked high and low, beginning in November right until Christmas Eve. A Christmas Wii miracle was not to be found.

When Santa left Kaden his ridiculously expensive Ford F150 riding toy (with working radio,) and Maddie woke up to find her Rose Petal Cottage, Parker tried to act excited. "Oh, a guitar..." Could you blame him? The two little ones were on stimulous overload, and he looked like he was one step away from coal...which, in theory, is really what he sould have gotten.

We still wanted him to have the Wii, but if he knew about the plan he wouldn't have stopped until it was purchased and playing, and since we didn't know when that would be it remained our little secret. I have stalked out Walmart and the game store here in town, but always seem to miss them as they come in. How is it that there could be twenty people in Arkadelphia who want a Wii and happen to be in Walmart in the first hour they are on the shelf? Cause apparently that's how they go...super quick.

Today we went on a Wii hunt. We started out headed towards Little Rock with clear intentions: do not come home without a system. Malvern was the first stop, and even though they didn't have one ate the game store there, he happened to be on the phone with the Hot Springs guy who had just gotten in six last night. "Hang onto one for me. I'm on my way right now!" Brad was beginning to think I lost my Wii mind by the way I was rushing him, but when I got there he had my one left. The rest had sold during our 20 minute drive. CRAZY!

So we brought our new toy home (after everyone picked out their own game.) We have spent the night driving, bowling, and hunting. I have two revelations thanks to Nintendo:

1. I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader.
2. My kids find great joy in knocking us out.

So we are a Wii family. If you meet me driving down the road, move over a couple of inches because my eyes are bloodshot and swollen from staying up until 3 a.m. with Mario. And my arms hurt too much to move from I boxing my children.

Ain't Nobody Sleepin' Round Here

2009-01-07T22:42:00.000-06:00

We have been having the most terrible time around our house with sleeping. No one is sick. No one is hurt. No one is having bad dreams/worried/afraid/stressed. Just no one is sleeping. And tonight I pinpointed the culprit.

Due to Parker's need for order and scheduling, our bedtime routine could be written on stone tablets. Baths, snacks, brush the pearly whites, tuck in. Everyone snug as a bug by 8. It is that simple and story book perfect. Until the lights go out and I close the door. Apparently that is when the party starts.

On weekends and holidays I have to admit our rules are pretty lax. Same schedule, same routines. But the boys are allowed to take a toy or book to bed as long as they stay in their beds and keep the noise to a low roar. Somehow our adjustment to back-to-school has been harder than usual, and as a result no one is sleeping.

Bedtime goes as usual. Prayers, talking about the day, discussing crucial upcoming events (like toy day @ school-arg.) By 8:30 it sounds like Ringling Brothers is holding try outs in our house. There is thumping. There is bumping. There is fighting and crying, and the other night I was actually opening the door just in time to see a body fly from the top of the bunk onto a pile of all bedding on the floor. Good thing they were cushioning because the sheer look of terror on that 2.2 second drop was enough to break a bone.

So we have done everything. Threats (followed through, thank you very much,) earlier bed times, taking away part of the ritual (snacks!) We have talked about why we need sleep until we are blue in the face, and I even got them up extra early one morning so they could see how tired they were. Doesn't matter. We are still rockin' every night until PAST 11!

Tonight I was past exhausted, and had resolved myself to the idea that you can make someone do a lot of things, but you can't force someone to sleep. I don't even know why you should have to-they don't realize how much they will covet that rest later in life. So the only thing I knew to do was to seperate the little darlings. Kaden was exhiled to the couch. The little precious is so rowdy-such a little fireball of a guy. Within minutes...M.I.N.U.T.E.S...he was out. Checked on Parker...out. So finally tonight after being dog tired for days the house is quiet before midnight.

Now I can't sleep...I think I have become used to the steady thudding from the boys room.

A Return After Break Fairytale

2009-01-05T18:16:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time in a magical land far away there was an enchanted primary school. This school was full of amazingly brilliant and lovely teachers. Teachers in this school had endless ideas and resources, were supportive and encouraging of one another. They loved their coworkers and children, and reaped benefits mentally, emotionally, and monetarily from their rewarding career.

This school, like many others, provided teachers and students with much needed and deserved vacation breaks. During these breaks, pajamas were standard attire, and hot chocolate and cookies flowed. Teachers transformed into mysterious beasts called "moms," and were able to cook whole meals for their own families. Things were beautiful.

After two blissful weeks, teachers and students prepared for school by enrobing themselves in attire previously neglected-pants with real waists. As the lovely educators pulled on khakis and slacks they discovered that sometime in the sugar cyclone elves had sprinkled magic shrinking powder onto all real-waisted wardrobe items, completely neglecting stretchy "workout" pants and pajama bottoms. These teachers were now not only brilliant and lovely, but imagined themselves magicians as they tried to accomplish the impossible...put ten extra holiday pounds into previously snug-fitting pants.

Teachers returned to school one and all admittedly relieved to find their friends had been visited by the same band of elfin intruders. Before they became too comfortable in their rolling chairs and heavy winter coats, however, they were assaulted by one unnamed assailant (Nurse Jo.) "We are starting a new weight loss program today for all teachers. It will be great!"

Really. Nothing quite like weighing in weekly, keeping food diaries, and having others give you that guilty look as you walk down the hallway with your one miniature Snickers...really JUST one.

Not to mention the joys of food diaries, point exchanges, and exercise logs.

There was even mentioned not to beat yourself up for sinning. Jeesh.

So the exceptional teachers gathered their strengths and talents, banded together, and ...

stepped into the dungeon of the evil Scale Dragon. Because individually they are amazing. But together they can get through this. And for the pure entertainment that comes through this kind of support. Like...

"I'm gonna do this, but I am not starting until I finish the pan of brownies I made last night." or

Hearing a whole group of kindergarten teachers discuss the dietary exchange of a beer or glass of wine to replace food. or

A well timed snort and grunt after hearing, "Don't forget, you need to plan for exercise." and my favorite...

"Wow! Cucumbers and Jello are free! That's all I'm gonna eat!"

So...And they all lived happily ever after? Whatever happens, we are all in this together!

Such a buncha junk!!!

2008-12-16T18:43:00.000-06:00

I had one of those days today where nothing went right. I am so disappointed, and especially because I was SO looking forward to it.

So...Today was Parker's big Nickelodeon Choir trip to our state capital. I had asked two months ago to use my ONE personal day so I could see him sing. As a teacher's kid, I already feel guilty that he is slighted in some areas (like having Mom miss coming for lunch and class parties,) while getting an overload in others (such as having Mom in the building when he is acting up.) This day was gonna be great. We were gonna see him perform, have lunch, then spend a day together-a little mother/son date. By the end of today I would be relaxed and rested, have great video memories of my eldest's artistic debut, and have finished up all of my Christmas to-dos. We would practically float home humming the Smurf's tune. Visions of sugarplums and all that jazz.

As you know, last night the weather dumped some really fun stuff on us. We were lucky to escape our share of the ice, but Little Rock did not. I got up this morning and just knew that no way would Nickelodeon Choir be trekking in these conditions. My personal day being precious, I got myself and the kiddos ready to head out the door. On the way I called school to let the office know that I would not be taking my day today since there would be no trip.

The trip was still on. So, back in the house to change Parker into his official Nick clothes (which, of course, we could not find,) then off to school to drop him.

We pulled into the parking lot at school and discovered Maddie in the back seat-I had forgotten to drop her at daycare. No big deal. I can take her after I leave the boys, but those little legs and curious eyes sure do move at a snail's pace inside the magical world that is an elementary school.

So boys delivered, Maddie (finally) dropped off, and on my way. I wanted to give myself plenty of time so I could drive slow.

Got to Little Rock around 10:00 just in time to get a call from Brad that one of his co-workers got a call that there would be no trip. No trip!!! So here I am in Little Rock in twice the time that it would normally take, cars in ditches everywhere, wreck happening right behind me, and there will be no performance.

Gotta make the best out of my lost day, so I head to Target. Bout that time I get a call that Nickelodeon is performing right there in the cafeteria WHERE I SHOULD BE AT WORK!!!!

So....personal day down the tube, no chance to see them perform, battling ice. Did not do much for my dreams of finishing up my Christmas list.

Time for a hot bath and bed. And back to school tomorrow.

Dear Santa...

2008-12-11T20:21:00.000-06:00

So thanks to S for sending me this email. It was so great, but I had to add a few of my own thoughts.

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree onthe school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's redCrayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find any more free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes:
(Since I have 3 kids, I think I am living my life 3 years at a time. So in 10 years I will actually 30 years older. I already feel it.)
* I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze,but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
(Okay-so my little confession is that I feel I have been given a little gift when I see another mom in the candy aisle wrestling their kid. There is comfort in numbers. I also like to check the insides of other people's cars for french fries/stickers/broken toys/socks. Ours is gross, but I have found that most people with kids live out of theirs, too. We were actually loading up with a friend the other day, and she asked me-with terror in her voice, "You are going to let them eat ice cream in the car?" Where else would they eat? At a table? Weird.)
* I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
crickets. chirp, chirp.
*If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I canhide to talk on the phone.
(I have the sweetest story about fingerprint windows. When Parker was barely able to walk we took him to see his great-grandmother in Jonesboro. He did what every kid does-tried to eat the glass. When we went back to visit at Easter, granny told us that she had treasured those little marks, and had cried when his aunt cleaned them away. I haven't been able to look at those precious little smears the same since. I wish I had a good story for the reason there is dust under the beds.)
*On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes,Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without theuse of power tools.
(I am personally against a talking doll. I just want one that smiles and hugs. We got plenty of talking round here!)
*I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat inthe Living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can onlybe heard by the dog. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or theluxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
(Seriously-if I had a quarter for everytime I say, "Please find something to play where no one is hurt or sad." And then after I tell Brad that I have to turn right around and say it to the kids. Exhausting!)
*If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would behelpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crimefamily.
(I subscribe to the out of sight theory. That's why I can sit here in peace while the boys are rope-swinging to get from their door to their beds. And, yes, it can be that bad. Sorry, Mom.)
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
(Well, ya got me here....no laundry has been touched today.)

Yours Always,

MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

The thrill of the hunt...

2008-11-28T18:14:00.000-06:00

We are a hunting family. My boys can rarely be seen daylight hours from October thru December. Some of my favorite memories of growing up were made walking through the woods with my grandpa. And I even had my very own deer stand made this year (more in effort to wanting to stay warm and dry than a serious place to hang my glowing orange hat.)

Today was my day. I spent last night preparing for the trip. I woke up long before the crack of dawn this morning. I gathered my gear and slipped stealthly out the door, careful not to wake the sleeping baby and husband.

Did I mention I was BARGAIN hunting? I am a Black Friday FANATIC!!!

Pouring through sales ads is the highlight of my Thanksgiving after-meal afternoon. My cousins and I have a special notebook we have dubbed the "Clipboard of Deals." We carefully find the cheapest prices on what we are looking for and plan our attack according to location and store opening times, taking into consideration availability of items, of course.

I also need to confess that we wake up early and endure the madness mostly for pure entertainment purposes. There is nothing like the scream of the crowd in Walmart at 5 a.m. when the unwrap the guarded pallets of super cheap televisions. Watching a lady cry tears of joy when she finds the last abandoned baby doll laying on some random shelf after she had given up hope is better than seeing the first moon walk. Not to mention the fighting. Surely someone else gets a little amused seeing two grown people play tug-of-war over Tickle Me Elmo.

Mostly the bargains are in vain as we spent too much gas driving to stores we never go to or standing in lines that are hardly worth the saved cash. To those of you who were out there with me...I hope you had as much fun as I did (and I hope you got those $4 jogging suits and $10 nerf guns.) And if you were warm and dry in your bed this cold, rainy morning at 4 a.m., you really had the right idea-but I hope to see you next year!

P.S....Let me know your best bargain of the day...
Mine was the digital camcorder (finally we are moving out of the 1990's) from Walmart. Cute, tiny, and super cool!!! Brad really outdid himself this year on my Christmas gift-and never stepped foot into the store!

For my (460+) Kids at Christmas

2008-11-23T22:48:00.000-06:00

We are so blessed. I mean, really...WOW. I am sitting here tonight tired-maybe exhausted. But I am also excited and hopeful. And I have a stack of red and blue tags that need your prayers...

I am praying tonight for all 460+ kiddos in our county on Angel Tree. I am asking that they experience God as he intends us all to see him-simply and generously. No questions. Pure joy. My hope is that they will receive more than much needed clothing items or toys. They will know unconditional love from a total stranger during this most holy time of year. They will know that someone cares for them, that they want to give them a gift with expectations of nothing in return. That as theyy grow into adults, they will remember that someone loved them so much that they were given an extraordinary gift. Lessons learned will far excede socks and stocking stuffers.

I want to pray for the moms, dads, and grandparents of these precious children. Parenting is the hardest job we will ever take on, and many of them are taking on this roll as they fill many other shoes. I thank God for giving them the grace to reach out for help from others. It is not easy to humble ourselves, but doing so for the benefit of our children is an act of pure selflessness. I pray that they will find ease from their stresses, financially, emotionally, and otherwise, and that they will be afforded the experience of a Christmas miracle with their children. I ask God to protect them, keep them safe, warm, happy, well, and full. I pray that every one of these families is drawn through this experience closer together and to Him. If there is a family that doesn't know the love and mercy of this great Redeemer, then I pray that through the generosity and compassion of others they will seek the greater Source.

I am humbled by the generocity of our community. God has been so good to so many, and I am greatful for the close ties that can be found here in Clark County. People are so good to give, making sacrifices for themselves to heed the call of Christ in service. The joy that shines in their faces as they deliver those packages can only be matched by a child experiencing Christmas in the midst of terrible hardships. Families, churches, organizations, businesses....we are so blessed to be surrounded by people who love the Lord. I pray that God continues to bless those that give. That He protects them, their families, and their works. That the people who are taking care of our Angels continue to trust that thier needs are provided for as well.

As we place these tags on the trees tomorrow night, join me in prayer of thanksgiving for these children, parents, giving families, and volunteers. God is so good to provide. What a blessing to see how He works.

Confessions of a crazy morning.

2008-11-19T16:11:00.000-06:00

Mornings with my kids are the hardest part of the day. They grumble when they have to get up (I do, too.) They can NEVER find their shoes (got me there.) They fight over EVERYTHING, even things that I am convinced noone really wants. They do not like what their breakfast choices are, but once they get started you would think that they are having something really fantastic by the way they savor each and every little bite. Someone forgets something every day-usually a backpack after I have just said, "Get your backpack and head to the car." They take an e-x-c-r-u-t-i-a-t-i-n-g-l-y long time to walk the fifty yard from the parking lot into the school building. Then they pretend to wonder why our farewells are tainted with grumbles.

This morning was especially frustrating. They were pushing the right buttons right from the start. Parker discovered that he could control the lighting in the house by flipping light switches with (I'm sorry...) his tongue. He wandered around looking at the ceiling calling, "Shoes, shoes, where are you?" Kaden wouldn't get up until it was time to go, then he whined about going hunting instead of pursuing his education. And both were begging for a cookie for breakfast.

I did what I am always threatening to do....I grabbed Maddie and left.

(Disclaimer-Brad was home this morning. He usually goes to work at 6, but because of some power thingy he didn't go in til 10. I know...too perfect!)

So we girls loaded up in the car and took off. All three guys were standing in the door with lost, desperate faces.

It took about 2.4 seconds for my phone to ring. "You can come back. They are ready now."

Nope. Didn't do it. They love that they get to school way early and get to walk in with Mom and all that jazz. This was my perfectly presented opportunity to prove my point..."GET READY WE GOTTA GO!" I just knew this would fix them. They would see the light, understand my frustration, and come to my terms.

I felt like a super parent all day long. I was confident that the next time I said it was time, they would grab their stuff and load up. My delusions lasted until 3:30 when I was ready to leave school and my little precious guys were too busy playing to hear my declaration.

Accountable...

2008-11-16T17:59:00.000-06:00

So I have an ever-expanding list of things that need to get done. It is one of those overwhelming, too many things, shut down entirely lists that won't go away.

I know that none of these tasks are too big that I can't accomplish each and every one of them. I know that they have to be done, and be done before this week is over. I know that I could have accomplished a number if not all of them if I hadn't done to the Wheel of Fortune casting yesterday. I know these things, but am doing little about them. Yikes.

So here is my list...one that can't be hidden in the bottom of my purse or used as a coloring page. And if admitting you have a problem is the first step, then...

"Hello. My name is Amy. I need to get these things done:"

*Write the conclusion to my research paper due LAST Monday.

*Enter the 165 applications I have so far for Angel Tree into the spreadsheet. There will be more tomorrow.

*Lesson plans....find teepee.....paper bag vests and pilgrim hats....corn art....

*Finalize reflections on lesson I presented 2 weeks ago. Wish I could remember what I had for breakfast!

*Call back the approximately 2 dozen messages on my voicemail about Angel Tree from last Thursday and Friday.

*Reading reflection ch. 7--should be first and fastest.

*Laundry. More accurately-put away 27 loads that are crowding my bedroom floor from washing here and there all last week between deer camp and school.

*Unpack camper. HMMM...wonder what marshmallows would look like if I put this one off until next October when we will use camper again.

*Walmart. Camping and living out of an ice chest for 10 days has somehow emptied our house of everything.

*T graph plot my research results. Wish I knew what that means.

*Gather items for JA meeting tomorrow night so we can write out tags for 400+ children. There will be more tomorrow.

*Family time? Homework? Koalaty reading slips? Bedtime stories?

*Start media contact to raise support and awareness for Angel Tree.

I didn't number any tasks because they are all equally daunting and important right now. If anyone has a magic wand to wave and get everything done, I will be forever greatful. If not, then I will be super enthused about prayer and support.

Now that I have aired my dirty laundry (literally) I can't hide from it any longer. Off I go!!!

Chain forwards on my day "off"

2008-11-03T09:37:00.000-06:00

Parker is sick today with the yuckiest stomach bug. So after washing everything in my house AND shampooing all of my carpets, I finally got around to checking my email. Had this fun forward (thanks, Christy,) and decided to post for all to see...

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your friends. 'press FORWARD' then change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you.The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 2 am. see note on puke
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? so embarrassing...Saw 5.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Gray's Anatomy, O'Reilly Factor
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? half of Maddie's Poptart
6. What is your middle name? Lynn
7. What food do you dislike? onions and cabbage
8. What is your favorite CD at moment? Rascal Flatts Greatest Hits
9. What kind of car do you drive? Chrysler Town and country-Shout out to all you Mini-Van Moms!
10. Favorite sandwich? grilled cheese
11.What characteristic do you despise? dishonesty
12. Favorite item of clothing? monkey pajamas
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Rome
14. Favorite brand of clothing? So many choices....
15. Where would you retire? all over...I want to travel
16.What was your most recent memorable birthday ? 21...Parker was born, graduated college...big year
17. Favorite sport to watch? football
18. Furthest place you are sending this? cyberworld
19. Person you expect to send it back first?IDK
20. When is your birthday? April 17
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning and night. It's the middle part that gets me.
22. What is your shoe size? 9
23. Pets? Cocoa and Reeces...two great cats.
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Kaden got a deer! (with a little help from dad)
25. What did you want to be when you were little? lawyer
26. How are you today? tired.
27. What is your favorite candy? Hershey's Kisses and red blowpops
28. What is your favorite flower? yellow rose
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Dec. 4th-will be done with research!
30. What is your favorite pastime? reading and traveling
31. What are you listening to right now? The View. Love that Elizabeth!
32. What was the last thing you ate? Honey Nut Cheerios
33. Do you wish on stars? Nope, but thank God for them.
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? grey
35. How is the weather right now? beautiful
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? Ms. O'Quinn
37. Favorite soft drink? Diet Coke with Cherry from Sonic
38. Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden
39. Real hair color? mousey brown and grey. hence, the highlights!
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? books
41. Summer or winter? winter
42. Hugs or kisses? yes, please
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate
44. Coffee or tea? water with lemon
45. Do you want your friends to email you back? exactalutely (kadenism)
46. When was the last time you cried? I don't know...probably due for a good one.
47. What is under your bed? winter sweaters
48. What did you do last night? online chat and test (research again. ugh)
49. What are you afraid of? wasting time, not getting all of the important things done
50. Salty or sweet? salty
51. How many keys on your key ring? 7
52. How many years at your current job? 2
53. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
54. How many towns have you lived in? 7
55. Do you make friends easily? yes
56. How many people will you send this to? bloggers everywhere
57. How many will respond? can't wait to see...

Poor Little Guy!

2008-10-15T19:11:00.000-05:00

Our class pet, Chuck E., is sick. He is normally a very social, happy, active little fella. He runs and eats and talks to the kids all day long.

Today when I got to school, I noticed that he wasn't moving much, and was sitting outside his "cave." He was still there later on, so I decided he needed a little attention.

What he really needed, turns out, was medical attention. His eyes were matted almost completely shut, and he was very still.

We rushed him to the vet as soon as school was out. He looked him over, said he is too skinny and that we probably have worse problems than his eyes.

I am so sad. He really is a good pet, and I want him to get better. But everything I have read online says that guineas rarely get sick, but when they do it isn't usually something that can be treated. Unless you have a vet that specializes in guinea pigs-which Arkadelphia is short on.

So if any off you are guinea pig experts, then my little guys and little guinea would love to hear about how to get better. But chances are, I will be talking to my kiddos this week about poor little Chuck E.

Little House-Style

2008-09-14T19:03:00.000-05:00

Last night our power went out. It was about midnight, and usually we sleep in the dark anyway, but having no lights made it very hard to go to sleep in the dark.

We survived the night, but this morning was crazy. My kids woke up at 6-pretty unusual for my guys who like to sleep til 8 on the weekends. It was as if someone said, "Wake up! There's nothing to do, and you need to get a jump-start on pestering mom!"

I told my mother-in-law that it was like "Lord of the Flies." My precious angels might as well have been beating their chests in loinclothes. They went crazy! Normally they do cereal for breakfast, but this morning just because a hot breakfast wasn't possible they were dying for waffles. And they wouldn't play-they wanted to sit right on top of me to whine.

We decided we could not spend a perfectly good weekend day at home with our kids going nuts. We were packing up to head to our river cabin when our air conditioner whirled to life. We wouldn't have been any happier if a rainbow came shinin' throught the window and a dancing little leprechaun personally handed us our pot-o-gold.

We love camping and roughing it, but only when we are properly physically and mentally prepared. And this weekend was not one of those times. Our big shouts-out to those electric company guys who saved our sanity and our Sunday.

What was that?

2008-09-09T22:37:00.000-05:00

I just had the weirdest experience. One of my classes I am taking is research methods. I have been dreading this one...it is supposed to be one of the hardest in the program. But I know I have to do it, and planned to just get it done and be done with it.

Here is the weird part. It is a group project. I am reliant upon 5 other people to help me get the grade. And I live here in Arkadoo, and one of my group-mates lives in Mena, 2 live in Conway, and 2 others live in Nashville, TN.

So we are working together online (finally-after taking nearly 2 weeks to pin everyone down to one time and place.) And all of our work has to be submitted electronically, individually, but must also be IDENTICAL. That really confuses me, because how in this world are all six of our papers going to be exactly the same from six hours apart.

Now, I'm sure that other groups are flying through these proximity issues by discussion boards, chats, posting, whatever, but I am not tech saavy (see my back arrow post!). These things make me feel old. When I graduated from HSU, email was still pretty tricky, but now there are whole classes that meet entirely online! You can take a test while eating popcorn in your p.j.s. Wow.

So for the past two hours we have labored online talking about font size and indentation, and wording. And this is just for our practice sheets...we haven't even started the actual paper yet.

I am so going to have to give up control of this. But I don't like it.

Rain, Rain, Go Away (After 8 am!)

2008-09-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

Rain Day! No School! Even though the kids think we hate weekends and holidays, and that we sleep at school, it's true. Teachers love the day off, too!

So here we are in our jammies. At 10 am. I woke up and turned on the weather this morning first thing to find out if it was worth the effort to straighten my hair this morning. I am so thankful that I found out before waking my kids-those extra 2 hours of silence were amazing.

I have a million things I need to be doing, such as laundry, cleaning bathrooms, making play dough for school, and getting ahead on my assignments for this sememster. I seriously need to go through the stacks of kid clothes and hang/price them for Duck Duck Goose. All of these "bonus" hours could really be productive. Could be....

But instead we ate banana pancakes. Don't get to make those on crazy school mornings. Now the boys are playing playstation, and I am watching "The View" and indulging in my facebook and blogging. I can't get over the new VP nominee, and the coverage is endless.

And nothing is getting done that needs to. But it will later. In just a few minutes I will get up and put on my superhero cape, and CLEANING MOM will step out of the closet (if you could walk in my closet.)

Right now, though, I am half browsing, half listening, and loving that Maddie is climbing all over me babbling in her new language. This found time will be precious if not productive.

Hugs from a hostile four-year old.

2008-08-27T18:30:00.000-05:00

Today I had an amazingly rewarding moment. I am taking it as a pep talk from God conveyed through the mouth of a pre-k girl.

Last week was so hard. First of all, 8 hours is a long time for a four year old. Much less 19 of them in one space. Compound that with first time away from home jitters, nervous parents, regulations of the 4 different umbrellas that are over a public school program, new year paperwork, etc. Not to mention my 2 Grad classes that I am taking (in Conway) in my "spare" time.

In particular, I had one little girl who was my screamer and sulker. She would cry endlessly, then find a corner to plant herself in with her arms crossed and a look that said she didn't like school, want to be there, and wasn't interested in my songs, stories, or overall silliness.

But as the week went on, we made progress. She began walking down the hall by herself. She would sit in circle time. She let go of my leg on the playground. Eventually she smiled. Then I caught her on in my lesson singing and moving ever so slightly. Woah. Major breakthrough.

Today I met her walking with mom down the hall, and we got caught up in general conversation about how she was doing. Then she hit me with it. Last night, my little girl who had been so slow to warm up had asked to call her teacher. Because she loved her.

I really do love teaching pre-k, and one of the reasons is because they are so honest. What the feel and think is what you get. The rewards (and sometimes criticism) comes openly on a daily basis. But I know that today I received a gift, because even this early in the year, I can feel that at least for that one girl (and the mom who was just as scared to leave her) something worked. And really that's the best you can ask for at this crazy time of year.

Socks!

2008-08-19T19:31:00.000-05:00

We recovered from yesterday. I always forget how hard the first week is. I think it's God's way of retaining teachers. Or post traumatic stress.

So I did something today I've always wanted to do, but never had a lapse in reason long enough to really follow through.

We have worn sandals, crocs, flip-flops, etc. all summer, and haven't even opened the sock drawer. Yesterday morning the boys went to get socks to wear with their new school shoes, and couldn't find a single, acceptable pair.

We found lots of holey socks and plenty of lonely socks, but our struggle was in finding two sole-mates that were acceptable for public display.

I despise sorting and folding socks-it is worst part of laundry for me. I usually end up with a basket, and we pull a couple out in the morning until I find time to sort through and put away socks for all five of us. I have always thought it would be so much easier to do this task if everyone had only one kind of sock, and each person's socks were distinguishable.... It's the little things that excite me.

So disregarding all reason and practicality, I went through each room with a trash bag and threw away every sock. It was hard-in the process I found a few that probably would make the cut, but I was on a mission.

This afternoon I went to Walmart and bought new socks for all five of us. I feel so liberated! We escaped major school clothes shopping, so I am rationalizing this as our fall wardrobe purchase.

Is it weird that everyone can't wait to get ready for school so they can wear their new socks?

oh my

2008-08-18T18:03:00.001-05:00

I am so exhausted.

Our little battles

2008-08-16T20:32:00.001-05:00

We took the kids out today for one last hoorah before back to the grind. We had a great time at Chuck E. Cheese, then we were off to find Parker a lunch box.

The problem is, Parker is very much like me. He gets very set ideas in his head about what he is looking for, and that is what he wants. Whether it exists in actuality or not. In June, he decided his b2s theme this year was flames. I don't get it, but I am comfortable with it, and a little relieved to be moving away from superheroes and characters. Whatever.

So we bought a flame backpack and way-cool converse with rock-n-roll guitars. But we never could find a lunchbox to match. To a lot of people, that might not be a big deal. Kaden's school supplies were a mixture of Spiderman, camo, puppies, and Thomas. Parker wants to coordinate.

We are down to the wire, and at risk of eating (gasp) in the cafeteria, we are desperately seeking lunch containers. But all of the sudden he wants Transformer (yuck) shoes AND a lunchbox. Transformers happen to be big now, and even though I despise them, I just assume it is a guy thing that he will grow out of. Only there are no lunchboxes to be found, which seems like an end to my problem since we already have those ROCKIN' flames.

We go to K-Mart, and there is a lunchbox with a volcano on it shooting out flames and lava. Matches perfectly, and we are totally into lava. But his face has that pouty-disappointed expression, and I could tell we were settling. That frustrates me, because I know that as soon as we buy it we will find one with Optimus-whoever on it, and a real battle of wills will begin.

We leave without it, deciding to wait until we find the one that we really want. Until we pull out onto Rodney Parham into traffic, and then that lunchbox turned from kinda okay into the COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! IT WAS PERFECT! THAT LAVA WAS ?POWERFUL?! TURN AROUND I HAVE TO HAVE IT. And the fit ensues.

Now, I know that people in the central Arkansas area must not be watching their CSI or 48 Hours, because if they were, they would know to call 911 if they saw a car going down the interstate with a child desperately screaming and clawing at the back window. But noone pulled us over. At one point between there and Benton I almost wanted them to. almost.

We made it home, and shopping days are over, and I wonder how we will survive this week without the perfect new lunchbox. By next weekend, lunchbox issues will seem minimal compared to the stress of the first week.

Where has summer gone?

2008-08-14T21:24:00.000-05:00

This week has been so busy. Apparently last week was, too-I am already slackin' at this bloggin thing. Anyway, so anyone who is getting ready for back to school knows how crazy this time of year is. Especially if you are a teacher. Double especially if you are a teacher AND you have kids of your own to get ready.

Maddie returned to daycare this week. We are so blessed to have a daycare owner who really loves our kids and understands this teacher summer-off thing. So we stayed home all summer, and now we are back. But without Kaden (who is going to Pre-k @ Perritt with me and Parker.) And now she is 18 months old-the very peak of seperation anxiety. Also she has been a permanent fixture of my hip for three months. Know where I'm going? This had been so hard! Monday when I dropped her off she cried and desperately clung to my arm. And when I picked her up she was still crying. By crying I mean the ugly gasping, puffy-red eyed, snotty nose, really guilt ridden cry. I almost decided to stay home right then.

I might have if I hadn't been working on my room day and night for two weeks. I just couldn't do all of that work then leave. So I sucked it up. I told myself the same speech I tell my pre-k parents. "She'll be fine. She only cries for the first few minutes, then finds toys and friends and has a great time." I firmly believe this-but this is MY BABY!

Here we are at Day 4. No bags under eyes, snotty tears, or wailing. A few protests, but no more trauma.

Maddie will be fine.

Kaden is thrilled to be going to school with us. He strutted through the mall with his backpack the other day. He instantly looked a year older when he put on his new school shoes tonight before open house. I am gonna have to face the fact that he is not a baby. But I don't wanna.

Parker is so ready to be back in school. He has missed his friends, along with his classes, and I can't do enough to keep him busy while we are home. Hooray to those homeschool moms who teach several different levels at the same time. You are my heroes! I have been so frustrated this summer trying to do Parker's projects while finding something for little brother to do (he won't be left out), at the same time keeping Maddie from destroying their hard work. Not to mention they wanted to do things like eat and wear clean clothes. Ugh. So tempting to just turn on Noggin and sing with the Wonderpets.

So we are going back to school! My classroom is ready. Supplies and shoes have been bought. We have survived open house (which is not easy when you teach in the same school where your kids are going), and are on our way. Only 36 weeks til next summer!

Where are my buttons?!?!

2008-08-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here pouting at my computer like a child. As if it personally attacked me. I came home from working on my classroom all day, and all I wanted to do was check my email. Wasn't even gonna blog or facebook-really.

And they are gone! My back button and other nifty things that I am comfortable with getting me from one place to another are no where to be found. For most people I'm sure that there is a quick fix, one little right click to back-button normalcy.

But tonight I am tired. I am cranky. I probably need a time out. So I will struggle through manually using my browser tonight, and maybe tomorrow I will be better rested and more patient.

This must be how my kids feel when grocery shopping spills over into lunch and naptime.

P.S. Thanks for the tip, Amber. Gonna give it a try. Come find me if I can't find my way BACK.

Here we go!

2008-08-06T00:23:00.000-05:00

My mom kept the kids tonight so I could work in my classroom. Well, mostly so I could recruit Brad to work in my classroom. I have collected things throughout the summer for school, and I needed Man-help to get them there. Did I mention that today is our anniversary? Happy Anniversary, honey! Grab another box!

So we worked, and hauled, and moved furniture. And we went to dinner at the Burger Barn. That's right-just us. Time alone is few and far between, but a dinner with no fighting or flying french fries is romance in itself.

After dinner we went to retrieve our children. Mom had fed them and given them BATHS-I was taking home ready-for-bed children! She walked us out to the car, and with an exhausted look on her face said, "You do this every day. I don't know how. I might need medication."

We DO do this everyday. Some days are busier than others, and at times I wonder if the day will ever end. Sometimes after long days of workshops, you only want to go home. Then you get a call that you need to take someone to the emergency room because their brother hit them on the head with a trophy (last Friday). But later you are reminded that they are so precious, especially when they are full, and smell like Johnson's, and they are laying in bed at night. "One more book, please." "I wonder what we'll do tomorrow." "God, thanks for my hermit crab."

So for all of the moms out there...we'll just keep doing what we do. However we can manage.